On the Feast of Saint Patrick, I was able to go to daily mass. I was happy because my schedule does not allow me to go as often as I used to. And I think I actually appreciate it more than ever now because of it. While I was listening to mass, I was talking to Jesus, and telling Him how thankful I was to be there. When I received Him at Communion time, I thanked Him again and again, telling Him how much I love Him, and the thought came to me that this might be the last time for a long time….the “Last” Supper. The thought choked me up immediately, and I prayed, “If it is, then please stay with me, stay with me, Jesus. I never want to be apart from You.”
I am getting tears in my eyes, even as I write this, just thinking about it….thinking about My Jesus, and being apart.
Just hours later our Bishop announced that there would be no more public masses in the diocese because of the Coronavirus.
When I meditated on it, I thought of Jesus’ words to the Apostles in the Garden of Gethsemane, “Stay with me. Will you not watch one hour?” It felt a little like Gethsemane in reverse, and now I was the disciple asking Jesus to please stay with me.
I felt sad. But then Jesus lifted me up. He showed me that He had been preparing me earlier by not allowing me to go to mass as frequently, and how that longing I have now is transforming my soul.
How mysterious. How wonderful. How incredible our God is.
And He let me know that He is still with me, and as long as I don’t push Him out by serious sin, He will remain so. And He is still in His Catholic Churches, and resides in each Tabernacle, and if I can’t go there and be with Him, I can make a Spiritual Communion. He will provide me with all the grace, and perhaps more, as if I had actually received Him.
How good. How generous. How loving our God is.
And so I praise Him! He didn’t cause this virus, but he allowed it…for a reason. Though many will suffer, and some will die, perhaps someone I love, or even me… I praise Him still. Because He is somehow transforming souls through this. He is slowing down our busy, hectic lives and giving us a time to pause, reflect, and pray. He is causing people who never think of Him, to think of their mortality, and repent. He is giving us a chance to strengthen our family ties. He is bringing out the good in us, so we will care for our neighbor. And He is saving souls. I know that He is.
How wise, how faithful, how merciful our God is.
Act of Spiritual Communion Prayer
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.