Jesus, I know that you already know but its my five-year anniversary of healing. Oh Jesus, You are the healer. I know that you have healed people who were blind and you even rose Lazarus from the dead, but, to me, my healing was a big deal. I tried everything physically man made and nothing took the pain away, but You did. You are the healer. You heal the body, mind heart and soul. Wounds of the heart are the hardest to heal because we have to cooperate with the healing. We can hold onto past hurts but that puts a divide between us. Jesus, You healed it. How can I ever say thank you enough? I could not say it enough so I want to spend the rest of my life thanking you by telling my story, bringing people to You through my prayers, sufferings and sacrifices but that does not seem enough. Oh Jesus, you give great gifts to us small insignificant creatures. I should not say creatures because we are made in your image and likeness but sin turned us into creatures. I love you and thank you for this beautiful, free, no strings attached gift.
My daughter told me that one of my wounds from childhood was not being loved unless some kind of action on my part was needed. I write about this in my book but I didn’t realize that I was still thinking this way with regard to my healing. I have been worried that I am not doing enough to thank You like not giving talks, etc. but it is not what I do, I could never repay You enough for my existence.
Life is such a gift. It is to be treasured every day. It does not change because the girls in sixth grade picked on you. It does not change because you were not picked for the job that you wanted. It does not change if your house burns down. Yes, these happenings cause us to suffer. What we get wrong is placing the blame on ourselves. We didn’t study enough for the test, we should have checked the water sprinkler system in the house, etc. No matter how much good we do or how secure we make our home, it is not enough. I am not saying that we shouldn’t take the proper precautions, but we should not rely too much on ourselves. We need to rely on God and live our life in constant gratitude for the health you have today and the illness you have tomorrow. Even though you eat healthy and exercise, it doesn’t stop you from getting sick. We have to rely totally on God in good times and in bad. We praise Him for the crosses in our life for without them we would never grow in holiness.
Our life should be a continuous act of thanks no matter the outcome because God loved us so much that He allowed us to be born into existence so we can be counted amongst His Elect, His people. The only choice we have is do we accept this life that has been given to us for the short time on this Earth as a gift to be treasured in good times and bad, or do we reject this life that God has given us by saying. God, I wanted to be a girl and not a boy. God, I want to have sex with whomever I want. God, I don’t want to give birth to this child in my womb. God, I don’t want to live anymore because I have so much pain.
God is screaming in your ear, but you do not hear Him. He is saying, I love you, my child. Turn to me and I will show you my love, but it has nothing to do with getting everything you want because I did not get everything I wanted. I created man so I could have a companion, but Adam lost trust in me and fell. I could have destroyed Adam and Eve if I wanted to but I loved them so much that I sent my only Son, Jesus, to make up for all their wrongdoing. My son, my only son who is both divine like me and human like Adam, took on all the sins of all of humanity because I love you all so much and don’t want to lose even one of you. This is how much you are worth to me. Unfortunately, men hurt men because they don’t understand this love that I have for them.
Those of us who love God are expected to do extra ordinary things with great love like forgiveness, mercy, understanding, grace, charity. Alone, we could not live up to this expectation, but with God, all things are possible. Let’s allow God to use us to love others that don’t understand His love. Let’s love beyond measure.
To accomplish this tall task, we must ask for the graces from our dear Mother Mary, who is our model of love. She is also the mediatrix of all graces. If she knows that you just want to shower the world with love and keep nothing for yourself, she will blast you with the grace to spread her flame of love to all who desire it. Let us pray for this gift.
Mary, Undoer of Knots, please, I pray for your flame of love that was poured into You by the Holy Spirit at the conception of your most Holy Son, be given to me and all that ask, through Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.
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