FAMILY VIRTUES – Feast of the Holy Family, Year C
We are familiar with the differences in families’ material possessions. Some families have too many material possessions which block their growth emotionally and spiritually. Some have too few material possessions which create strains and tensions, which can block their emotional and spiritual growth. Many have sufficient material possessions, are relatively satisfied, and draw greater life from their emotional and spiritual possessions.
Families can and do function and survive on too many, too few, or a daily sufficiency of material possessions when they have emotional and spiritual possessions in a sufficient degree. Without them families tend to break apart and become dysfunctional. Our culture seems to be producing more dysfunctional families. We can ask what is lacking? For many the lack is more on the spiritual and emotional levels than the material.
The Book of Sirach stresses the spiritual value of order in relationship between parents, children, mothers and fathers. Many a talk show and many reports reveal the lack of order in relationship among many of the nation’s families. Honor is hard to give to abusive parents. Authority is hard to accept from parents who pay no attention to God’s authority or the Church’s authority in their lives. All respect and all authority is a two-way interaction. While perfect order in relationship as understood in the Scriptures is the exception, extreme disorder is a mark of a dysfunctional family. This family virtue flows out of one’s relationship to the Lord. “He who reveres his father will live a long life; he obeys the Lord who brings comfort to his mother.”
Fear of the Lord is a virtue which makes a difference in family life. In ages, such as our own, where there is little fear of falling out of relationship with the Lord, there is going to be more disorder in such families. “Happy are those who fear the Lord, and walk in his ways! Behold is the one blessed who fears the Lord. Your wife shall be fruitful…Your children like olive plants around your table.”
Even the best of families will experience trials, growth pains, challenges, hardships, sicknesses, failures, successes, fears, and hopes. To work through them, families need the family virtues Paul gives in Colossians. Again the development of them is related to one’s relationship to God. “Because you are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved” Paul said they are to “wear” certain spiritual clothes.
Families who live out the virtues Paul taught are going to be happier and less violent. What family doesn’t need “heartfelt mercy, kindness, humility, meekness and patience” in great abundance? What family doesn’t need to bear with one another, forgive grievances, and accept members? What family doesn’t need love as the pervading virtue that makes possible all the others? What family doesn’t need Christ’s peace?
Neglect of thanksgiving, neglect of letting the word of Christ dwell in family life, neglect of instructing and admonishing family members, which can be very difficult, lessens the life giving force of the family. No doubt giving attention to the spiritual and emotional virtues makes a critical difference in families. A holy family is not a perfect family. A holy family is one in which the members are striving to live out the spiritual and emotional virtues, which make family life possible.
The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph was not a perfect family, in that there were never any misunderstandings. They lived with quite a few mysteries! This can be seen in the search of Mary and Joseph for Jesus “in sorrow”. When they found Jesus, His explanation to them didn’t sit too well. “But they did not grasp what He said to them.”
Families that live in relationship to the Lord find it easier to live in good relationship with each other. “He went down with them then…was obedient to them. His mother…kept all…in memory. Jesus progressed steadily in wisdom and age…before God and men.”
From the Diary of St. Faustina (190)
Jesus, I accept everything you wish to send me, I trust in Your goodness.
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